The Long Ride Home
I remember this day like it was yesterday even though it happened over eleven years ago, eleven years, seven months and twenty-four days to be exact, but who’s counting? The day in question was March 6th, 1999 and to it will always be a very somber and extremely sad day. For on this day the man that had stood as the rock in my family and oftentimes the glue that held my family together during the tough times, and there were many, had died. I want to share with you a little about the events that happened on that sad day and morbid day and how they forever changed my life.
My cell phone rang early that morning at approximately 5 AM and when I answered it that morning the call was from my oldest sister Janet. Immediately I could tell from the urgency in her voice that our father health was fading fast and it looked like he would likely not make it through the day. Her insistence that my sister Debra and I get on the road and head to the Grand Army Veterans Home near King, WI, where our parents lived, had me alarmed. Without hesitation I immediately called Main Street Ingredients and Olsten Staffing and left them messages that told them I wouldn’t be in that day I had a family emergency. I then next called my sister Debra and we made arrangements that we would use her vehicle to go to King and that she would be there in about a half hour. My wife at the time Lynda was extremely nervous as was her daughter Betsy and after we prayed about the situation they made me promise to call them with updates about my father’s situation, which I agreed to do.
My sister arrived and quickly we were on the road our only stop was to get some coffee at Kwik Trip before we got on the interstate to Tomah, WI. The Grand Army Veterans Home is located on the eastern side of the state and roughly about a two and a half hour drive from here. My oldest sister Janet and older brother Roger, as power of attorney concerning his health, had made the trip the night before when they were alerted that his health had taken a turn for the worst. My younger sister Betty arrived approximately an hour or so after we arrived. The mood in the room was quite somber when we walked in the room and the sight of my father laying on his bed with the air tent over his head and looking frail was almost too much to bear. The years of his suffering from Emphysema had taken their toll on his physical health. I could tell that his eyes lit up a bit though when we walked in the room, and he was able to acknowledge our presence.
The image of him lying there though still burned in my memory made it hard to remember that here was once a man of towering strength tempered with infinite wisdom. My father was a man that oftentimes made the right decision. A man of few words who worked hard to raise his family to give them what he never had a good education. What he lacked in book knowledge he made up for in life experience. That day the minutes seem to drag on watching his struggle with each agonizing breath and finally that moment came when he took his last breath at about eleven thirty that morning. Sensing that the end was near we all, the five of us siblings, vowed to promise that we would honor his memory and stay together as a family no matter what through thick and thin and take care of our mother. As the years have passed I would like to think that we have held to the vow we made that day on his death bed, but to be honest we have all fallen short at some time or another of that promise.
I can still remember well the grief we shared that day after he had passed on there was not a dry eye in that room. My brother, sisters, and I each took turns sharing past experiences we held dear involving often fun times we had shared with our father. I personally remembered the time that he and I went fishing on Dad’s sister, My Aunt Irene’s, farm when my line got snagged on the shell of a huge snapping turtle when I was about 10 years old. I remember telling everyone if dad wasn’t there I probably would have fallen in the lake; it had to have been at least a 20 lbs. snapper. I remember that we even had a little chuckle after that story. Janet shared about how Mom would always wonder where she was when she was young and if mother would have thought about it she was always down in the barn helping dad. When we finally left dad we all kissed dad on the forehead and said a last goodbye. We were eternally grateful to the staff at Mac Arthur Hall where he stayed for allowing us to stay with him for several hours long after the life had left his body. The fact that they very understood in our hour of need will and still is forever remembered fondly. I am forever grateful that I was given optimal time to say a finally goodbye to the man I still admire most in life and will as long as I live. The man that I can only strive to live up to the example he set in my life. Though I am only able to vaguely remember the somber ride home that day, to me it seemed like it lasted forever but in all reality it did not.
Yes I truly do remember the events of that day as though they happened just yesterday, although they happened so long ago. Is there a day that goes by that I don’t oftentimes miss my father? Of course not, because he will never get to share in my achievements and disappointments in life and give me guidance to get through the tough times. You might ask how I am able to carry on feeling the insurmountable grief that I felt that day. I am able to do so because I am often reminded of the example that he set in my life, to this day though the events of that day still bring a tear to my eyes and a lump in my throat even after all these years have passed. The fact that he knew that I was there and that he was loved by us all will be forever branded in my mind and how that moment in time forever changed my life. To that I will forever grateful. I believe that it helped me to become a better man, the man I am today.
